The Quaderno Montessori is a journal in
Italian that Grazia Honegger Fresco published for 35 years. It has
articles on birth and the early years, as well as the older child.
One of the regular column titles was cronaca di
normale violenza or the narrative of normalized violence:
Normalized Violence: violence that we accept, that we become
accustomed to, that we don't speak out against, because no one does.
It is accepted simply because it is happening.
For those of us who
are sensitive to the needs and feelings of the smallest people, we
see it all the time. Toddlers, for example, have breakdowns because
they can't tolerate any more injustice from the adult world, which in the adult language is known as the “terrible twos.”
So back to my story of the first great
separation, the one-hour old baby boy who had to go to a separate
area of the maternity ward for a thorough examination by a
pediatrician. Every baby in this hospital has to say good bye to mom
before 60 minutes pass, it's the protocol. The pediatric nurse
arrives at 59 minutes past birth and whisks away the newborn and says "just for a bit", not unlike the
Grinch says to Little Cindy Loo Who, “Why my sweet little tot, there's a light on this tree that won't light on one side. So I'm taking it back to my workshop my dear, I'll fix it up there and I'll
bring it back here.” Little did his mom know that
she would hold him in her arms again until the next morning.
If the baby is checked out and
everything is normal, this separation lasts two to three hours, or sometimes up to 4 or 5 hours because of added wait time due to “visiting hours” or the afternoon doctor's visit.
This
guy, I'll call him Tomasso, disappeared, under the care of his medical, staff for 18 hours. After the first hour of his life, he was
separated from his life-source for 18 hours...
They brought him back to her at
5:30 the next morning, when they deliver all the babies to their moms
after a night in the collective. And they took him back two
hours later. Every morning they have all the babies in the nursery
for about 2 hours, for the doctor's visit. They all stay for the time it
takes to do all the procedures to all of the babies. No one gets to
go back to their mom until everyone is free to go.
They come back for the babies 3
hours later in order to sequester them during visiting hours, and
there they stay for at least 2 hours, sometimes more. After visiting hours they have
their longest stretch of the day with mom, a four-hour “nap”
after getting topped off with growth producing fluids. They may not
wake up during this time to latch on due to the food coma they are
in.
Again they are put on display for the
families and spend 2 hours in the nursery before an evening date with
mom, from 8:30 until midnight. Total time with mom? 12 hours out of
24.
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